Bitter Sweet
by hriddle14
Summary: First Story. Hermione runs away, then becomes a death eater, then runs away again. Completed with an unsatisfactory ending. Sequel coming soon.
1. Poem to go with story

This is a story about a boy named Harry.

Early morning, he wakes up  
Knock, knock, knock on the door  
It's time for hiding, even fighting  
It's you he's been waiting for  
James goes.  
"Lily, take harry and go! It's him! Go run!"  
And they say. 

(Chorus:)  
He's so lucky, he's a star  
But he doesn't know it till he gets his letter, saying  
Hogwarts school is waiting for you  
That's why a half giant came to get you

Lost in a legend, in a dream  
But there's no one there to tell the truth  
And this world is different, and he keeps on winning  
But tell me what happens when it stops?  
They go.  
"Isn't he lucky, to survive You Know Who?"  
And they say. 

(Chorus:)  
He's so lucky, he's a star   
Isn't he lucky, this Quidditch-star Boy? 

(Chorus:)  
He's so lucky, he's a star

spoken:  
Look, If you had  
One Scar, One opportunity.  
This is everything you ever wanted (To kill Voldemort! HA!)

His scar is hurting,  
Voldemort near, spells he's blurting  
There's blood on his robes already, Basilisk named Betty  
He's nervous  
But on the surface he looks calm and ready to cast spells  
But he keeps on forgetting what spell to do,  
His mom's screams go through his head  
He opens his mouth but the spells wont come out  
He's choking now, voldemort is joking now,  
Times run out, his dream is over, BLOW!  
Snap back to reality,  
Oh! He's in his four post-er!  
His scar is burning bad!  
He wants to go tell Ron!  
He's so sad, so he won't  
Give up that easy, no.  
He won't have it he knows  
He will kill voldemort,  
It don't matter, he's toast.  
He knows that, but knows most  
That Voldie' cant come close  
Cuz he is at hogwarts.  
Back to your class again, yo  
Better get to class or Snape's gonna be mad, yo

You better not loose your wand in the magic, the wizards, you love it  
You better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss that spell you cast,  
To kill voldemort comes once in a lifetime!  
You better not loose your wand in the magic, the wizards, you love it  
You better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss that spell you cast,  
To kill voldemort comes once in a lifetime!

Hedwig's escaping, in the hole that is gaping  
The letter is mine for the taking, let me read!  
From Sirius, so delirious  
He says his life is boring, an Animagi!  
Its close to quidditch time,  
And he needs to go  
Be a seeker and win some more games  
OH NO! Chambers open.  
Cant believe that they took Ginny!  
But the magic goes on,  
Da da dum, da da da da

You better not loose your wand in the magic, the wizards, you love it  
You better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss that spell you cast,  
To kill voldemort comes once in a lifetime!  
You better not loose your wand in the magic, the wizards, you love it  
You better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss that spell you cast,  
To kill voldemort comes once in a lifetime!

No more games, he's gonna change what you call magic,  
To kill mean old voldemort, ooh how tragic!  
He was learning in the beginning, then wizarding changed,  
When he went to hogwarts and people called him names.  
But he kept learning and learned a lot of spells,  
Made enemies wit' Malfoy, proved he was better as well  
Draco got him mad, he was meltin',  
But there's no movie if there's no Tom Felton,  
This is Harry's life and these times are so dark, and its getting even darker,  
Trying to defeat voldemort,  
Plus, being haunted by that night with his Mom and father  
Too much for him to want to stay in one spot,  
Too many dark wizards, he's got to formulate a plot or end up in heaven.  
Success is his only stinkin' option, death is not.  
Sorry Harry but I have got to go,  
I cannot grow old writing songs.  
So here he goes there's his shot,  
Wizard or not  
This may be the only opportunity he got

You better not loose your wand in the magic, the wizards, you love it  
You better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss that spell you cast,  
To kill voldemort comes once in a lifetime!  
You better not loose your wand in the magic, the wizards, you love it  
You better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss that spell you cast,  
To kill voldemort comes once in a lifetime.

You can kill anyone you set your mind to, man.


	2. Ch 1 The life of Rose Sunset

Hermione's P.O.V.

I sat down at my kitchen table looking out the window at the sky. It was dreary, as always. Ever since Harry had hidden himself, things had gotten worse. Everyone in the order and in the D.A. had hidden in fear, or to go train with Harry. I, on the other hand, moved to a muggle village in America called Kentucky. I lived on a farm. Even though I was a muggle it was still hard not to be able to use my wand. If I used it, I would have risked getting myself caught. I didn't want that. I wanted to be free, not chained in some cage in a Death Eaters home, or worse, dead. So I made my final choice, and moved to the Muggle world. It wasn't that I was scared to fight, to die. I was scared to die a un free woman. For this, I ran. I faked death and ran.

I moved to Kentucky when I was eighteen. I fashioned myself a new name, so that no one would recognize me. It was Rose Sunset. I died my hair black, stopped reading basically, and put all of my wizarding stuff into a closet hidden in two other closets. Two weeks later I found a good-paying job. It was a job involved with taking care of horses. If someone were to call, say that they were leaving and that they had no one to take care of their horse, or horses, me, or a colleague, would go their and watch them for whatever amount of time, or bring them to our house. It was five hundred dollars per horse, one thousand dollars per day. It wasn't much to ask, considering that we paid for their horse's food, drink, and anything else they would need, was it?

After a year of living there, I found out that my parents had been killed in an attack from Voldemort. It turned out they had been _privileged _enough to be killed by Voldemort personally. After that, nothing else good happened till two years later. At twenty-one years old, I Hermione Granger, or Rose Sunset, got married to a guy named Bill Perkins. He had short brown hair, tall, very built, and was a farm worker. We were a match made in Heaven, or so I thought. It turns out I was right. At our two-year anniversary, he bought me a very expensive sword and shield set with my name engraved on each item. I bought him a four thousand piece farmers set. Altogether it cost me seven hundred dollars, but I thought it was worth it. Oh how wrong I was.

When we were done exchanging gifts, he yelled at me for not buying the cake he wanted. Then, he yelled at me for not picking up a piece of horse dung that a horse I had to sit for dropped. Then, to put the icing on the cake, he gets really mad, hits me a few times, and leaves. Talk about anger management. He came home two hours later, crying and apologizing. He explains that he was mad and took it out on me. The next day, he does the same, but for different things. It went on and on like that for three more years and here I am, sitting at my kitchen table, staring at the dark, dreary sky.

Suddenly, the sound of a phone ringing shatters the quiet and I get up and answer it. It is a man. He says he has two horses he wants me to watch for him for two weeks while he goes out on business. I agree. He tells me his address, phone number, and then hangs up. I set the phone down just as the door bursts open and in comes Bill, looking very angry. "YOU!" he shouts. "Yes." I whisper back rudely. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, HUH!" he yells. "To do my job, now if you'll excuse me, I'll see you in two weeks. Good-bye Bill." and I slam the door. I look down at the note in my hand. It says, 11895 Sunset Drive, 248/546/9865. I get into my Mercedes convertible, though it has the top the on right now, since it is always raining, and pull out of the driveway. Half-way there, I stop for McDonalds. I get a cheeseburger, fries, and a diet Pepsi for the road.

It takes me two hours to get there. When I finally do, I almost crash into a huge steel gate that is blocking my path to get to a huge manor. I am so busy staring at the manor that I don't notice the gate creaking open. A woman in a very pretty velvet dress complete with hood is walking out of the yard. "I trust you will be able to tend to the horses." she drawls impatiently. "Yes ma'am." I say, finally finding my voice. "Good, now their names are Shadow, he's the black one, and mystery, she's the white one. The servants will serve you food whenever you like. They will tend too your every need. I will be coming in and out but can't take care of them so can you do this for me. You will be paid extra. Good." She says before I have a chance to talk. "Good day." she says as she gets into a limo waiting for her. It drives off.

I park my car in the driveway and go into the stables. Both horses are whinnying for me to let them out. I make sure all of the gates are locked and there is no way they can escape before I let them out. They come running to me. The black one is a little hesitant at first but comes anyway. Suddenly, they both walk away. The black one goes to the front of me and the white to the back. Suddenly, the white comes charging at me and the black blocks my path to move. The white slides right underneath me made me fall onto his back. I laugh and hold on as they both go running with me on mystery's back. I smile as I put them into the stable. I hear a chuckle behind me and I whip around, only to come face-to-face with Narcissa Malfoy.

I almost die of shock. I stand there shocked, with my mouth wide open. She stops chuckling and I find my voice. "N...N...Narcissa Malfoy. What are you doing here!?" I practically yell. "Calm down child, or should I say Ms. Granger, or Mrs. Perkins. Whichever you prefer." she says. "Y...You know" I say dumbly. "Yes, but don't worry, I don't wish to hurt you." she says calmly. "Why are you here? What about Lucius? Aren't you death eater?" questions just start coming out of my mouth. "This is my house Mrs. Perkins. I'm not a death eater and Lucius and I divorced because he beat me." She says all in one breath.

"Don't' call me that." I whisper dangerously. "Why, does your husband beat you too?" she says. She takes my silence as a yes. "I thought so." I hear her mutter. Before I can question her about what she meant with that comment, she says "You must be pretty skilled with horses. Mysterious won't even go near me." I smile at her comment. "Thanks." I say blushing. "No problem, get some sleep Ms. Granger. You look like you need It." she says. Then, she leaves. I go to the guest bedroom and change. I shower, and then I crawl under the covers. I am asleep instantly. All night I dream of nothing but the good old days at Hogwarts.

The next morning, I woke up to see two big-round blue eyes staring back at me. I did the only thing sensible to do. I screamed. The door to my room burst open and Narcissa came in looking disheveled. "What is it?!" she cried. Then she notices the position I'm in. "Oh, I do believe you know Dobby." she says with a laugh in her voice. "Yes, I do." I say holding my chest where my heart feels as though it will fall out any second. "Good, that saves the introductions, by the way, my daughter is coming so would you mind watching her?" she asks. "You have a daughter? What's her name? How old is she? Does she like horses? Is she Lucius'?" I started firing questions, yet again. "Yes I do have a daughter. Her name is Rose Black. She is ten years old. Yes, she likes horses, and yes she's Lucius', though he doesn't know that." she tells me. "Oh." is all I can say. "Well good day, Hermione, Dobby." "Goodbye Narcissa." "Bye Milady."

The doorbell sounds twenty minutes later so I go to answer it. There stands a girl with long blonde hair, in a very expensive black robe. She has the blonde Malfoy hair, but not the eyes. Her eyes are blue, not steel grey. She comes in like a princess. I quietly shut the door, and turn to find her staring me up and down, looking like she's seeing if I'm rich enough to be in the same room with, and just as I am about to speak, she starts talking. "So, you're the famous Hermione Granger who faked death, then changed herself completely."

She says. "How did you know that?" I ask disbelievingly. "Your eyes tell it all." she says simply. "Oh." is again all I and say. "Well, let's do something, I'm bored." she says. So the day begins. It turns out she is just like me. Smart, likes horses, and loves to read. We become best friends. She tells me she will be living there. I congratulate her. We go to our respected rooms I can't help but think how much fun I have had so far. Then I realize that in nine more days I have to go back home. True, I do miss my little black cat pepper. I don't miss Bill though. That doesn't surprise me. I fall asleep with gloom hanging over me. The next nine days go by too fast for my liking. In two more hours I will be leaving. I really don't want to. I am in the study reading. Rose is across from me, doing something or other involving the Hogwarts founders and Narcissa is downstairs somewhere.

Suddenly, there is a huge crash from downstairs and I grab Rose's hand and drag her to a secret spot and lock her in. I then run downstairs to a horrible sight. Death Eater's everywhere. Narcissa is right in front of them. I hide for a second to listen and see what I can hear and act upon. Suddenly, one of them speaks. "Hello Narcissa." says a rough voice. I know that voice but I can't place it. "Hello Lucius." speaks Narcissa, no fear in her voice. "What are you doing here?" "I'm here for this." he says as he pulls out his wand. "Wait Lucius! Not so fast. I am not amused." Came a high cruel voice I know to well. "Voldemort" says Narcissa nastily. "Still no manners, hmm, go ahead Lucius." he says broadly. Suddenly, with fifty pops or so, all of the death eaters except Lucius Dissaparate, leaving only him, a hooded figure and Voldemort. Suddenly Lucius lifts his wand and starts to say the death curse. I scream and throw the first curse that comes to my mind at him. "Crucio." He falls to the floor in pain and starts screaming. I come out of my spot with my head high, like I'm not walking out to my death but into a ball where I'm the star. Suddenly, all is quiet. "Who are you?" Came the voice of Lucius, from the floor. "Granger?!" comes a voice from under the hood, and I immediately recognize it. "Yes ferret." I say rudely. "Don't call me that" he says dangerously. "What are you going to do about it?" I whisper back in a challenging way. "This" he whispers. He raises his wand. "Avada--" but is cut off when I yell "Silencio." He gets really mad and his eyes flash. His father takes the spell off of him. All of the adults including Voldemort himself stop to watch us battle. "You'll pay for that mudblood." he whispers menacingly. "You really need new comebacks ferret cause yours a horribly boring" I say, faking a yawn. "STOP THIS NONSENSE." yelled Narcissa, making everyone jump. I came to my senses and stopped. All of a sudden I heard "Obnoxie." and Narcissa fell to the ground, screaming bloody murder, twitching like mad. I ran to her side, knowing there was nothing I could do. Obnoxie kills you slowly and painfully. She looks at me and says "Take care of my horses, they're yours now. Watch over Rose. Good luck with Bill." The she took her last breath and I watched the light leave her eyes.

I started crying. Really crying. Then, I got mad. Power waves were radiating off of me. I looked at Lucius with so much hate in my eyes that he backed off a bit. "You...You...You LOSER. BEAT YOUR WIFE THEN KILL HER. THE SAD THING IS YOUR STILL NOT WORSE THEN MY HUSBAND." I stopped to take a breath. "Your married?!" they all said in unison. "YES I AM. I HATE HIM. HE IS JUST LIKE YOU LUCIUS. HE LOVES TO BEAT HIS WIFE. IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I END UP LIKE NARCISSA." I am really crying now. "Who cares? One less mudblood." whispers Malfoy to himself, but I catch it. "AND YOU MALFOY, WHICH WAS YOUR MOTHER. I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR TWO WEEKS AND SHE HAS BROKEN DOWN TWELVE TIMES BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WERE OK OR NOT. YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL ABOUT KEEPING THE PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I THINK; NO I'M SURE THAT YOU'RE GOOD FOR NOTHING FATHER JUST KILLED THE ONLY ONE THAT EVER CARED FOR YOU. STOP SMIRKING LUCIUS, YOU NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON. MALFOY, NOW YOU CAN SEE HOW IT IS TO BE AN ORPHAN. FLAMOUS OBNOXIE." I yelled and Lucius screamed really loud and died. Malfoy's eyes flashed. "HOW DARE YOU, YOU FILTHY LITTLE--" he started but I cut him off. "YES, YES, FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD. HOW AM I ANY DIFFERENT THEN ANY OTHER PUREBLOOD? WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING MALFOY, YOU, KILLED ONLY MY MUGGLE PARENTS, I AM ACTUALLY A PUREBLOOD. I AM THE LAST VIPERBLANCE ALIVE. SO THAT INSULT IS NOT DIRECTED TO ME ANYMORE THAN IT IS TO YOU." I screamed. They all looked shocked. Suddenly, Voldemort dissapparates. Malfoy does too.

I get Narcissa Cremated. I see that my car is totaled and have no idea how to get everything I have home. Then a noise comes from behind me. I turned around to see Rose behind me. She has tears in her eyes. "I heard everything. Is she really gone?" "Yes. You have to come with me to my house, then, we are going to Hogwarts." "But I thought you were in hiding." "There are other things more important right now then my life." "How will we leave?" "The horses. Go get all of your stuff." She runs into the house. I get all of my stuff, which is not much, and put it on each side of Mysterious. Rose did the same to Shadow. We started on the way to my house. It took two days but we got there. I was scared. I didn't want to face my husband but I knew I had to. I was not ready to walk into the front door and see...


	3. Ch 2 Mione's punishment and Voldy

Ch.2 Mione's Punishment/Voldemort's Preposition

Hermione stared in shock. Everything was destroyed. Rose screamed from behind her. Hermione turned and saw Rose cowering in front of an angry-looking Bill. He was holding a knife to her throught. "Been shagging someone behind my back." he yelled. "She's not mine and you know i'm still a virgin." she yelled back with equal loudness. Without thinking, Hermione tripped Bill, and grabbed Rose, who grabbed Midnight. She told rose to hang on to the portkey. She felt a hand slid onto her ankle and looked down to see Bill holding her. She knew she couldn't take Bill to Hogwarts so right before the count of three, she let go. Rose was sent spiraling out to Hogwarts. 'At least they're safe now.' thought Hermione. "You should never have left." yelled Bill. Out of nowhere, he started punching her until she fell from the impact. Then he carried her into the bedroom and did the worst thing of all. He raped her.

Before she knew it, it had been three days and she was still locked in the cellar. She hadn't ate in four days. Suddenly, the cellar door opened, and while hermione was blinking from the light, bill blindfolded her. She heard a car door slam and then they were off. In no time they were stopping and Bill was pushing her out of the car. He then took the blindfolds off of her. She looked around and saw that she was on mountains. One slip and she would die. The sound of a door slamming awoke her from her looking around. She looked around to see Bill driving away. As soon as he was out of sight Hermione began to panic. She had nowhere to go, so she did the only thing she could do. She started walking. After four long days, she saw a manor in the distance. She began to run to it and when she got about 12 inches from the door, she fell. The last thing she saw was two icy grew eyes before all went black.

When she woke up, she saw that she was in a room that wasn't her own. The walls and carpet were both dark green, and she was in a silver colored bed. She heard voices outside and tried to listen to what they were saying but they were talking too quietly. Then, all was quiet. The door bursted open to reveal Draco Malfoy. He looked furious. He slammed the door and went to his desk. He hadn't even noticed her awake. She started to get up when his voice cut through the air startling her. "Where are you going?". "Bathroom" she replied. "Through that door." he said pointing to the third one on the right. Hermione ran into it as fast as she could. She washed her face all the while thinking very fast. 'Oh no, i'm locked in here with Draco Malfoy. I'm probably here to be of use in the capture of Harry. Well I won't be.' with that being thought she ran over to malfoy and starte screaming. "I refuse to be the bait in helping Voldemort catch Harry. Plus, they think i'm dead, so it's no use." "Relax, the dark lord has other reasons for having you here." he said boredley. "Come with me." he said stroding into the hallway. Hermione, being curious, follows him. He leads her into the first door on the left, and Hermione almost screams. He led her into the biggest library ever seen. It was bigger than the Hogwarts library. "You will be aloud to read anything you want in here." he said. With that being said, he left.

After an hour of reading, Hermione heard the door open again. This time, it wasn't Malfoy, but Voldemort himself. Hermione almost screamed but decided not to. Instead, she just sat there. He strolled over and sat in front of her. She looked at him. He started talking first. "Hello, Hermione. I will get straight to the point. You would be the perfect addition to my death eaters. What do you say?" he said very fast. "No" was all she said. "Why not?" he said annoyed. "I do not want to kill innocent muggles for fun." she said, outraged. "The ones we kill aren't innocent. They beat their children. We just free the children." he said sounding very convincing. "And besides, when did Potter or the Weasley ever even say thank you for doing their homework? All they needed you for was to pass so they could get a job." he said, acting like all of this was obvious and as hard as she tried not to, Hermione started to agree with him. "So" he said cutting through the silence "will you join or won't you?" Suddenly, Malfoy was behind him, shaking his head telling her to say yes. So, she said what she wanted to. "Yes, my lord."

"Good, good." he slithered. "Be ready for your initiation by noon the day after tomorrow. Do not be late." he leaves. "What am I getting myself into." hermione whispers.


	4. Ch 3 Innitiation

Ch. 3 Innitiation

Hermione watched as Malfoy went back and forth through his mother's huge closet. He was trying to find her a dress to wear for the innitiation. He finally got fed up and told her to look for something, then show him. He pushed Hermione in there and sat down.She looked for an hour (yes the closet is that big) and finally found the perfect dress. It was a halter top dress that his her feet it was so long. It was maroon with black accents. It had black high heels with straps that went to your top of your ankles. She walked out of the closet with the dress.

"What do you think Malfoy?" she asked, finding it stupid having to ask him. "My mother never wore this one." he said, confusion written on his face. "I never even knew she had it." "Oh. Well, is it o.k.?" she asked, trying to avoid the subject of Narcissa. "Yes, it will do." he said and pulled her into a room. "Windles." he yelled and suddenly there was a pop next to him. There stood a house elf with big blue eyes, and a nice dress. "You will dress her nicely, and Granger, the is Windles. She will be your house-elf." With that, he walked out of the room. "O.k. miss...?" the house-elf said, looking expectantly at Hermione. "Oh... Hermione." she said finally snapping out of her reverie. "Well miss Hermione, let's get you ready." Then, they set to work.

When they were all done, Hermione looked like a queen. The dress accented her curves perfectly. She had on eyeliner and mascara to show her long lashes. She had on blood red lipstick, because Voldemort would like that, and she had on maroon eyeshadow to accent her eyes. When Malfoy walked in, he was speechless. _Woah! When did Granger get so good looking? AHHH!!! What am I thinking!!! What would father say!!!! _"Let's go Granger." he finally said, finding his voice. They walked down four flights of stairs befre they finally reached the room. Voldemort was sitting there with all of the death eaters around him. They were all stunned. The mudblood had actually looked pretty. Finally, Voldemort cleared his throut. "Shall we get on with it!" he said, not asking a question, but speaking a command.

Two death eaters went to the middle and kneeled down in front of Voldemort. Hermione recognised one as Draco, and the other as Blaise Zabini. "Come kneel at my feet Hermione." said Voldemort in a commanding tone. Hermione knew better than to argue. After all, she had agreed to this, though she didn't know why. "Good girl." Voldemort said. "Now, repeat after me, I will follow Voldmort through life and Death." Hermione cleared her mind. "I will follow Voldmort through life and Death." she said, hating herself more with every word. "I will not disobey him, or betray him, or it will be my head." he said. "I will not disobey him, or betray him, or it will be my head." she said, feeling like she would puke, or worse faint. "I pledge myself to the dark lord now, and forever more." he said very happily, as if challenging her not to say it. "I pledge myself to the dark lord now, and forever more." she said, knowing she had just killed herself. "Very Good, now come here." he yelled. Hermione walked over to him and he grabbed her arm. She tried not to wince as his fingernails cut into her skin. "Poreato" he said and instantly, Hermione felt her arm go on fire. She held herself up, though, high and proud. When it was finally over, the dark mark was on her left arm, looking up at her, mocking her. She was lead away and promised that she would be given her first task. She was given her own room, where she mage a bed for Windles. They talked alot that night, and Hermione found out that this house-elf was not like other house-elves. She wanted to leave just as much as Hermione did, and she never punished herself for talking bad about the Malfoy's. As Hermione laid in bed to fall asleep, the last thing she thought was _What would Harry and Ron say?_


	5. Ch 4 Hermione's Surprise

The next day, Hermione was woken up at four in the morning be her house-elf and told to get up, someone was banging at the window. Hermione finally heard it and ran to get it. When she saw who it was she almost died. "HARRY! RON! GINNY!" she screamed. "Quiet Mione, here, we'll get you out." Harry said, looking around for Death Eaters looking at them. "Hurry Mione." Ginny urged. When she finally got out, she pulled Windles onto her lap. The other three didn't say anything, they just rode off. It was very uncomfortable with her, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Windles on a broom, but at least they all were safe.

When they got to the order headquarters, Hermione pulled them all into a room. "Guys, please don't be mad at me, but..." and she told them everything. She told them about her running and changing her name, to getting married, to Narcissa dying, to her being kidnapped, to finally where they are now. Then, a thought struck her. "Hey guys, how did you know where I was, you were meant to think I was dead." she said, getting very confused. " A death eater just like you" Harry said. "He's a spy." said Ron, looking at Hermione pointedly.

"If you guys think i'm going back there, you are crazy" Hermione said in her huffy, commanding way. "Please Hermione, you can work with him." Harry said getting on his knees. "Oh fine, but you will owe me." Hermione said. "What will we owe you" sniggered Ron. "Well Ron, you get to go shopping for makeup with me." she said and Ron nearly lost his balance. Harry burst out laughing and fell to the groung, clutching his side. "WHAT!!!! SHUT UP HARRY!!"said a very embarassed Ron, putting his head in his hands. "And you Harry, you get to be my personal slave for a week." Hermione said happily. "Oh no" moaned Harry, knowing he was in for a rough week. "Well, i'm tired and would like to go to bed." she said getting redy to exit. Then, she turned around. "Who is the spy anyway?" Hermione said, very curious. Harry looked at his watch. He should be here now. Suddenly the door opened to reveal..."MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!"


	6. Ch 5 Mad Conclusions

Recap: "Who is the spy anyway?" Hermione said, very curious. Harry looked at his watch. He should be here now. Suddenly the door opened to reveal..."MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Nice to see you too Hermione" Malfoy said, smirking. "Hey Harry, Ron, Ginny." he said nicely. "Hey Draco" Ginny said shyly. She had grown to _**like **_him over the period they had worked together. "Hey Drake" replied the boys. "What is going on here" Hermione said harshly. "I saw...I saw..." Hermione faltered. "You BASTARD!!!!!" Hermione screamed at him. "YOU WATCHED LUCIUS KILL NARCISSA, AND YOUR TELLING ME YOUR ON HER SIDE" she continued. She was beyond confused now. "No" he said rudely, you watched me kill a muggle acting like my mother." he said smartly. "What...How...Why...HUH!!!" she finally got out. "To answer every question you just said, I didn't kill my mother, I killed a muggle from prison, I did it by concealing their real identity and putting imperio on the muggle to act like my mother, I did it to save my mother, and you need to quiet down." he said all in one breath. "Oh" was all she said. "Well, when do we go back" Hermione said tiredly. "Now" Draco said. "O.K." she said. Then, they apparated away.

When they got there, Draco started to walk out of the room. "Wait" Hermione called "Why?" she said, but he knew what she meant. "Because even though people say I don't have feelings, I do love my mother." he said. "It's just better not to show them because then you don't have to worry about people finding out." he said "Oh, o.k." she said. "Oh, and by the way Hermione, we'll be starting death eater spy training tommorrow." and with that, he left.

The next day, Hermione woke up to banging on the door. "Why does everyone bang?" she said angrily. She opened the door to find Draco there. He just pushed past her and walked into her room. "Are you ready" he said. "Good" and before she even said a word, he was dragging her to the forest in the back of the manor. "Where are we Mal...Dra...Mal... WHAT DO I CALL YOU?" she said huffily. "Draco will do, and we are in the forest because only Voldemort can do magic in the manor, and death eaters can only do magic in the dungeons, and I knew you wouldn't want to go there, so, shall we start" he said, looking at her expectantly. "Sure." was all she could say.

Over the next few weeks, Hermione and Draco trained...and trained...and trained. Soon, Hermione knew every spell that Draco was supposed to teach her. They were now practicing Occlumency. It was very hard, even for Hermione. Today, she had gone to see Draco mad. "Hey Hermione" he said noticing the fire in her eyes. "Hi" she said rudely. "You might want to get less mad, or you are going to be in real trouble today." he said, trying to get her calm. "I am calm" was all that was said on the subject. "Let's go" she said. "Legilimens" shouted Draco, and suddenly he was shown images in his mind. He saw many of her good times with the 'gang', but he also saw the bad times with her husband. When he saw her rape, he got really mad. He broke the speel, and told her to meet him tomorrow. Hehad to do something. He went to see his dear old 'pal' Bill.

"Hey Draco" said Bill, not expecting anything. Draco didn't greet him back, instead, he punched him in the nose. "What the..." he yelled. "We don't beat our wives, it's unnecessary" Draco said angrily. "You know where that wench is, good, bring her to me so I can kill her." he said, not liking the idea that she survived, so that she could point him out to the police. "Avada Kedavra" Draco said darkly. With that, he spit on Bill, and apparated back to the manor. He went into Hermione's room to find her asleep.

When Hermione woke up, she saw Draco sleeping peacefully on her comfy chair. His bangs were in his face but he paid no mind. He was too far asleep. He looked like a fallen angel. _He's my fallen angel. _thought Hermione, closing her eyes, only to have her eyes open wide. _Since when do I think of him as anything other than a useless ferret? _That morning, Hermione and Draco, both came to the same conclusion. The were in love with the _**enemy**_.


	7. Another song

Disclaimer: Not mine.

_**Reach For The Scar**_

"Harry Potter,  
Harry Potter,  
How is you?"

"I have come to warn you,  
Do not go to Hogwarts  
This year,  
This year."

"It's too dangerous,  
It's too dangerous,  
For you."

"A Basilisk will eat you,  
You-Know-Who will rise,  
From the dead.  
From the dead."

When Hermione, just took your Firebolt.  
And gave it to McGonagall.  
I will get it for you.  
When it seems, that everbody,  
Thought that you put, your name in that  
Goblet.  
I will help you.

We've got to all stick together.  
So we can win that Quidditch Match.  
Never ,ever forget that you are Ha-rr-y Po-tt-er. So-

(Chorus:)

Reach for the scar.  
Defeat Lord Voldemort.  
Reach for the scar.  
Capture the Golden Snitch.  
Reach for the scar.  
And when you just won the Quidditch Cup.  
That's when your dreams will all come true.

There's the Snitch, waiting just for you.  
And if you catch the Snitch, your team will adore you.

Fly away, to rescue Sirius.  
Fly that open sky, and Sirius be free.  
Don't stop, gotta keep flyin'.  
Your broom's gotta keep movin'  
Never, ever forget that I am Ha-rr-y Po-tt-er.  
So

(Chorus)

Reach for the scar.  
Ask Cho Chang to the Yule Ball.  
Reach for the scar.  
Grab on to the Triwizard Cup.  
Reach up for the scar.  
And when you just won the Triwizard Tournament.  
That's when your dream will all come true.

Don't believe Professor Trelawney.  
You will live 'till your 103.  
No-one knows of what the future holds.  
So be the best you can be, and in the end you will see.

I said REACH!,  
defeat Lord Voldemort.  
REACH!,  
Capture the Golden Snitch.  
REACH!,  
Win the tournament.  
And when your dream will all come true.

(Chorus)

Reach for the scar.  
Defeat the Slytherin Team.  
Reach for the scar.  
Defeat Draco Malfoy.  
Reach for the scar.  
And when you just won the Quidditch Cup.  
That's when your dreams will all come true.

(Chorus)

Reach for the scar.  
Watch the Quidditch World Cup.  
Reach for the scar.  
Grab on to the Triwizard Cup.  
Reach up for the scar.  
And when you just won the Triwizard Tournament.  
That's when your dream will all come true.

This is a story about a boy named Harry.

(Chorus:)  
He's so lucky, he's a star  
Lost in a legend, in a dream  
But there's no one there to tell the truth  
And this world is different, and he keeps on winning  
But tell me what happens when it stops?  
They go.  
"Isn't he lucky, to survive You Know Who?"  
And they say.

(Chorus:)  
He's so lucky, he's a star  
Isn't he lucky, this Quidditch-star Boy?  
He's so lucky, he's a star  
He's So lucky, this Quidditch-star Boy

Reach for the scar.  
Defeat Lord Voldemort.  
Reach for the scar.  
Capture the Golden Snitch.  
Reach for the scar.  
And when you just won the Quidditch Cup.  
That's when your dreams will all come true.  
Reach for the scar.  
Ask Cho Chang to the Yule Ball.  
Reach for the scar.  
Grab on to the Triwizard Cup.  
Reach up for the scar.  
And when you just won the Triwizard Tournament.  
That's when your dream will all come true.  
Reach for the scar.  
Defeat the Slytherin Team.  
Reach for the scar.  
Defeat Draco Malfoy.  
Reach for the scar.  
And when you just won the Quidditch Cup.  
That's when your dreams will all come true.

Reach for the scar.  
Watch the Quidditch World Cup.  
Reach for the scar.  
Grab on to the Triwizard Cup.  
Reach up for the scar.  
And when you just won the Triwizard Tournament.  
That's when your dream will all come true.

He's so lucky, he's a star  
Isn't he lucky, this Quidditch-star Boy?  
He's so lucky, he's a star  
He's So lucky, this Quidditch-star Boy

Hissy, Hissy, Voldemort,

Slither on the floor

You be good to Harry

Or He'll Beat you like before


	8. Ch 6 To good to last

Over the next few weeks, Draco and Hermione tried to act normal and rude to each other but it was as if they had reached an unspoken agreement. They tried to act like they didn't love each other, though they both knew the other did. They were just waiting for the other one to say it first. One day, they both finally got their chance.

"Hello Hermione" says Draco, trying, and failing, to stifle a yawn. "Hiya" she replies. "There is a ball soon" he says albeit nervously. "Yes" Hermione says, urging him to say it. "Willyougotoitwithme?" he says really fast and all in one breath. "Huh?" Hermione says, cocking her head to one side. "I said...uh...I said Will you go to the ball with me?" he says, very, very nervous. "Yes" she says nicely. "When is it exactly?" she asks curiously. "In two days" he replies then leaves the room. "I really don't want to buy a dress so I guess I'll make one. It will be the best dress there." she says "Then, we'll see how speechless he gets." And with that thought, they both go to sleep with their dreams filled with each others faces.

The next day, at seven in the morning, Hermione gets up and goes to Hogsmeade. She goes to a shop with many different objects to make a dress with, as well as a few books on how to magicallt make one. Then, she sneaks back in and goes back to sleep. She works for two days straight on the dress and the day finally comes for her to wear it. As the clock strikes eight o'clock, she hears Draco walk in the room downstairs, where she knows he is waiting for her. She tries to calm her beating heart and goes downstairs. Draco doesn't hear her arrive so she clears her throut. When he turns around, he is speechless.

'''''Her dress is silver with green outlining. All in silk. It is glittery at the bottom. The glitter is green. She has on earings shaped as little serpents. Her necklace is a wand with a snake around it.''''''

When Draco finally finds his voice, all he can say is "Wow". When they get down to the party room, they are both shocked. It doesn't look like the dungeons it is anymore, it looks like Hogwarts used to. The first song starts playing. They look at each other and dance.

I must be crazy now  
Maybe I dream too much  
But when I think of you  
I long to feel your touch

To whisper in your ear  
Words that are old as time  
Words only you would hear  
If only you were mine

I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you  
Should've made my move when you looked in my eyes  
'Cause by now I know that you'd feel the way that I do  
And I'd whisper these words as you'd lie here by my side

I love you, please say  
You love me too, these three words  
They could change our lives forever  
And I promise you that we will always be together  
Till the end of time

So today, I finally find the courage deep inside  
Just to walk right up to your door  
But my body can't move when I finally get to it  
Just like a thousand times before

Then without a word he handed me this letter  
Read I hope this finds the way into your heart, it said

I love you, please say  
You love me too, these three words  
They could change our lives forever  
And I promise you that we will always be together  
Till the end of time

Well maybe I, I need a little love yeah  
And maybe I, I need a little care  
And maybe I, maybe you, maybe you, maybe you  
Oh you need somebody just to hold you  
If you do, just reach out and I'll be there

I love you, please say  
You love me too  
Please say you love me too  
Till the end of time  
These three words  
They could change our lives forever  
And I promise you that we will always be together

Oh, I love you  
Please say you love me too  
Please please  
Say you love me too  
Till the end of time  
My baby  
Together, together, forever  
Till the end of time  
I love you  
I will be your light  
Shining bright  
Shining through your eyes  
My baby 

By the end of the song, they are lost in each others eyes. They slowly lean towards each other and their lips meet for the first time. Hermione looks dazed. "I have to go to the bathroom, o.k., i'll be right back" she says thinking _ i've definitely had too much punch. _

When she gets back, she almost dies. There, against the wall, is Draco wrapped up with Pansy Parkinson, snogging. Hermione makes a odd grunting noise, and takes off in a run, before the two 'lovebirds' even notice. When she gets back to her room, she is so upset she does what she always does, she turns on her c.d. player.

I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green  
I hope when your in bed with her, you think of me  
I would never wish bad things, but i don't wish you well  
Could you tell, by the flames that burned away

I never read your letter  
'Cos i knew what you'd say  
Give me that sunday school answer  
Try and make it all ok

_Chorus_   
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there  
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere  
It was you, who chose to end it like you did   
I was the last to know you knew  
Exactly what you would do  
It don't say, you simply lost your way  
She may believe you but i never will  
Never again

If she really knows the truth, she deserves you  
A trophy wife, oh how cute  
Ignorance is bliss   
When your day comes and he's through with you  
And he'll be through with you  
You'll die together but alone

You wrote me in a letter  
You couldn't say it right to my face  
Give me that sunday school answer  
Repent yourself away

_Chorus_   
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there  
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere  
It was you, who chose to end it like you did   
I was the last to know you knew  
Exactly what you would do  
It don't say, you simply lost your way  
They may believe you but i never will  
Never again

_Bridge_   
Never again will i hear you  
Never again will i miss you   
Never again will i fall to you  
Never

Never again will i kiss you  
Never again will i want to  
Never again will i love you  
Never

_Chorus_   
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there for you  
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere  
It was you, who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know you knew  
Exactly what you would do  
It don't say, you simply lost your way  
They may believe you but i never will  
I never will  
I never will 

Never again 

By the end of the song, Hermione's eyes are burning in rage. Her last thought before she falls asleep is _They'll get theirs, oh, they will get theirs._


	9. Ch 7 Figuring it out and running

Over the next few weeks, Hermione got very skilled at being a death eater. She knew every spell ever invented and began to make up her own. She practiced with Bellatrix Lestrange and had even begun going to the death eater meetings. She started going to raids too. She didn't kill anyone yet, no, but she did burn down quite a few places. While the others killed the people inside, she started to burn everything around them, then worked to the houses. When another ball came, she was introduced as the Dark Lady. Voldemort loved her, everyone could tell. She was his too. She was often seen coming out of his room **(A/N** **not that you sick people, you will find out later in the chapter.) **and knew all of his plans before everyone else. She went to the drak lord one ay and told him an awful thing. She told him Draco was a spy and that she knew where Harry and Ron were. **(A/N I know this is so unlike Hermione, but she will get nicer later in the chapter. Don't worry.)** He immediately sent someone to get him. When he walked in, he looked like he owned the world. That was, until he saw the look on her and the dark lord's face. Then, he got worried.

Ah, _Draco, _please do come in, Draco heard in the dark lord's mind. He sounded livid. Hermione had a pleased look on her face. "So Draco, miss Hermione here tells me your a spy to the order." he said. Draco's jaw dropped in shock. He knew she was mad at him but to go that far. He had to warn Harry and Ron. "She also told me where Potter and Weasley are, and you can't warn them, because the best of my followers are going to get them now." he said looking pleased to finally get Harry. "This is a disgrace, Malfoy, and take heed that you will be severely punished." he said rudely. "But, I am feeling very generous right now so I will give you a task. You will follow this task and then, you will earn my trust. Are we clear?" he said eventually turning to yelling. "Yes, my lord, crystal clear." he said cursing Hermione with all of his will. "Oh, miss Hermione will be going with you." he said with finalty in his voice.

It turned out the task was to go retrieve the last horcrux. It was buried deep in the water, in the west. So both of them setto packing. Hermione, or miss Hermione as all of the death eaters and Voldemort himself called her, had packed two hors before, and was now helping Draco pack. Harry had escaped. Ron had too. They all had been warned somehow, and when they first heard noise, everyone had apparated. Draco and Hermione were waiting for Voldmemort to give them the ok to go, and they were sitting there in silence. They could hear the thunder outside. It was raining up a storm out there. They didn't even know how bad it was out there. Finally, they saw a skull shape, and exited into the rain. They were surprised. Trees were uppended, hail was hitting everything in sight, and rain was pelting with speed of a firebolt. They started moving. They knew after two hours of wandering that they had to find shelter soon. They saw an old cottage and ran into it. They were both soaked and chilled to the bone. They both changed, and when Draco came back into the room, Hermione was already sitting in front of a glorious fire that would have made Voldemort proud, writing to Voldemort to tell them where they were. When she finally got done and noticed Draco looking at her funny, she turned around so fast he almost fell. "WHAT!!" she yelled. "Nothing _M_iss _H_ermione." he said putting punctuation on the M and H. "Then bug off and don't get out of my sight." she snarled, then curled up to read a book, looking up at Draco every few minutes to see if he was doing anything he shouldn't be doing. "I'm not doing anything, and i'm not going anywhere so stop looking at me and read." he finally yelled, getting mad at her looking at him every few minutes. "No I will not _D_raco. You are a disgusting idiot and you deserve to be killed. You should learn your place, especialy around the dark lord. You are a pitiful excuse for a man, and I am ashamed to even be seen with you." she growled. "We both know you love me." he said, teasing her. "I don't love you, _I. H_ate. _Y_ou." she snarled. "Then why are you here, then, if not because you love me?" he asked, trying to ignore the pain in his heart because she said she hated him. "I am only here because the dark lord asked me to, and don't you ever forget that." she said with finality, and turned to walk away. "NO!!!!!" Draco yelled, grabbing her arm and throwing her into a chair, "YOU WILL NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME. THAT'S ALL YOU'VE BEEN DOING. YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN. SHE CAME ONTO ME AND-" but he was cut off. "WELL YOU WERE SURE PUTTING UP A GOOD FIGHT." she yelled. "THAT STUPID PUG HAD ME PINNED, I COULDN'Y MOVE." he yelled, outraged. "YOU EVEN TURNED IN YOUR BEST FRIENDS, _M_ISS _H_ERMIONE. YOU KNOW HOW SAD THEY WILL BE WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOU BETRAYED THEM TO THE DARK LORD, AND SHAGGED THE DRK LORD." he yelled, disgusted. "I NEVER SHAGGED THE DARK LORD." she yelled. "THEN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN THERE FOR HOURS AT A TIME, HUH, EXPLAIN THAT." he yelled frustrated. "I AM IN THERE BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE IS THE DARK LORD, HE STILL IS HUMAN AND LIKES TO TALK TO PEOPLE, BUT NONE OF HIS DEATH EATERS BUT ME AND YOU ARE ON HIS BRAIN LEVEL, AND I ACTUALLY EXCEPT HIM FOR WHO HE IS. HE IS NOT A MONSTER, HE IS JUST A PERSON THAT HAD A BAD PAST AND LET IT CONSUME HIM. MUCH LIKE YOU WHEN WE WERE IN SCHOOL. YOU'RE BOTH ALIKE IF YOU ASK ME." she raged. "I am not like him Granger, and don't ever think that I am." he said, lowering his voice. He didn't hear anything and saw Hermione looking at something behind her with large eyes. He turned around and saw Harry, Ron, and Ginny looking at Hermione with mad faces. He knew in an instance that they had all heard everything.


	10. Ch 8 Old friends

Three yells broke the silence. "WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!." Harry yelled. "YOU DID THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron yelled. "WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ginny yelled. Hermione just ran out of the front door, into the storm. They tried to chase after her, but she was already lost to the storm. They all went, back in, but when they got there, they noticed Ginny was gone too. They talked about it and decided they would look for her in the morning. They all went to sleep.

Ginny caught up to Hermione and stopped her. "How could you?" she asked over the rain. Hermione had tears in her eyes. "I didn't Ginny. He had me under sectusimperious, but soon, I learned to fight it. I learned to like talking to Voldemort, as weird as that sounds. I made two terrible mistaked Ginny, the secong being falling in love with Draco, butthen he kissed Pansy and it killed me, I needed him to see how bad he hurt me, so I told on him." she sobbed, falling to the ground. "Oh Hermione." Ginny said, falling to the groung beside her. "Why didn't you tell antone?" she asked. "I c...couldn't Gin...ny." Hermione gasped put between sobs. "Shhhh, it's over." Ginyy cooed, trying to get her to stop. "Now, what is sectusimperious?" she asked. "It's like imperiuos. but you hear him in your mind. He made it himself." she said. "I need to leave again Ginny, I need this to be over." she said. Ginny was heartbroken. "I can't lose you again Hermione." she said sadly. "Then come with me. We'll go to the Americas. We'll become muggles, and have a wonderful life. Please, let's just start over." she said, a light going on in her eyes, looking hopeful. " I don' t think so Hermione. I belong here. I belong with Harry." she said torn between her friends. "Oh, well then, please don't try to stop me. I nedd to be free again Ginny." she said pleading. "I don't like your decision, but since you are my friend, I will support you." she said crying. "Thank you." Hermione said, launching herself at Ginny. They were soon a crying mess. Hermione got up with Ginny. "Say goodbye to everyone for me Ginny. I will write in two years time." she said, then took of running. Ginny fell to her knees, crying out in anguish. And that was how the boys found her. "Ginny." They all cried out, thinking she was hurt. "What's wrong?" "She's gone." was all she said. Then she explained to them everything that happened in this chapter. "So, she's gone." Ron asked. "She left us again?" Harry asked. They all looked back at Draco. He looked like he was trying not to cry. Suddenly, he lashed out at the nearest tree, and fell in angry tears. "WHY. WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STAY. WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. Why?" he screamed, crying. Ginny ran over to him and he cried into her shoulder.

Two years later, Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Draco stood on a field looking horrible but happy. Harry had just killed Voldemort. The death eaters were all being given the kiss, with the exception of Draco of course. Then, Ginny remembered something. "Hey, Hermione is supposed to be writing to me soon, if she didn't forget that is." she added in an afterthought. They all go to the hospital then, home. They are all settled in. Harry and Ginny get married, and both wok as aurors. Ron gets piched for the chuddley cannons quidditch team, and Draco goes to his job as a broom instructor. The year goes by and there is no word from Hermione. They all start to think that she abandoned them or forgot. Only Ginny still believes that she will write. Then, one day, Ginny gets a package. It is to go to Kentucky, in the U.S. to go see a horse-back riding game. They decide to go. When they get there, they rent a hotel. Then, they set to finding the stadium. They find it near Lexington. They enter and find the closest seats to the front.

"HELLO EVERYBODY AND WELCOME TO THE FIRST HORSE BACK RIDING RACE OF THE SEASON. THE FIRST RACER IS...AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, ROSE SUNSET WITH HERHORSE MYSTERIOUS." Draco gasps. "What?" They all ask him. "That's my moms horse." he says. "O my god, then that must be Hermione." Ginny says excitedly. They watch the race. It comes close but Rose (Hermione) wins. They all race to the winner and before they can call to her, Ginny yells "ROSE" and throws herself on her. "GINNY" she yells back. Soon, all five of them are crying into each other. Hermione invites them over. When they get to her house, they are surprised. It's not a house, it's a mansion. "Where do you work Mione?" Ron asks, amazed. "I work as a singer, and my husband is an auror." she says, looking in her fridge for something. "Hu...husband" Draco stutters. "Yes, you know him guys." she says, then the door opens and in walks in... "BLAISE ZABINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	11. Authors Note

Hey guys, I'm not going to put out anything else for awhile becuse I have like, one more week till finals, and i need to study. I also have a job and am very busy. I figure I will continue writing and post another chapter around June 15. C ya.


	12. Yet another song

By Myself Linkin Park

What do I do to ignore them behind me?  
Do I follow my instincts blindly?  
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams?  
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?  
Do I sit here and try to stand it?  
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?  
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,  
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?  
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin  
I make the right moves but I'm lost within  
I put on my daily facade but then  
I just end up getting hurt again  
By myself _myself_

I ask why, but in my mind  
I find I can't rely on myself  
I ask why, but in my mind  
I find I can't rely on myself

I can't hold on  
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin  
It's all too much to take in  
I can't hold on  
To anything watching everything spin  
With thoughts of failure sinking in

If I  
Turn my back I'm defenseless  
And to go blindly seems senseless  
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they'll  
Take from me 'till everything is gone  
If I let them go I'll be outdone  
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun  
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer  
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer  
by myself _myself_

I ask why, but in my mind  
I find I can't rely on myself  
I ask why, but in my mind  
I find I can't rely on myself

I can't hold on  
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin  
It's all too much to take in  
I can't hold on  
To anything watching everything spin  
With thoughts of failure sinking in

How do you think I've lost so much  
I'm so afraid that I'm out of touch  
How do you expect... I will know what to do  
When all I know Is what you tell me to

Don't you know  
I can't tell you how to make it go  
No matter what I do, how hard I try  
I can't seem to convince myself why  
I'm stuck on the outside  
Don't you know  
I can't tell you how to make it go  
No matter what I do, how hard I try  
I can't seem to convince myself why  
I'm stuck on the outside

I can't hold on  
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin  
It's all too much to take in  
I can't hold on  
To anything watching everything spin  
With thoughts of failure sinking in  
I can't hold on  
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin  
It's all too much to take in  
I can't hold on  
To anything watching everything spin  
With thoughts of failure sinking in 


	13. Shout Outs

Shout outs to the following people:

_Blaise Tenoh_

_hpsailorstarluver _

_SuicideAngel1369_

_Joyco_

_Isabella Heart_

_Tha. Realest. B. In. This._

_Phenox07_

_StarsLuvDolphins_


	14. HELP!

I need suggestions. I am writing a sequel and am open to suggestions.


End file.
